Embracing the Challenge: Bernice Williams and the Art of Trying
For this week's blog, we're continuing our exploration of this month's Pillar of Positive Living: Autonomy & Environmental Mastery. When I began thinking about members who embody these qualities, one person immediately came to mind: Bernice Williams.
The first thing I noticed about Bernice wasn't what she did—it was how she made me feel.
She carries herself with a calm warmth. Her smile, her graciousness, her steady presence all radiate outward in a way that's difficult to describe. Sitting across from her, I had the unmistakable feeling that I was the center of her attention. Fully present. Fully seen.
Bernice is a quiet leader at the Betty Ehart Senior Center–from her enthusiasm for everything from Pilates class to book club, she has a passion for lifelong learning. In 2024, she helped launch the Scam Awareness Book Club. As technology evolved, so did the group–growing into a robust program where members learn practical ways to protect themselves online. Drawing on a variety of resources–like the special presentation recently given by Rebecca Rutherford–Bernice helps make complex topics approachable and relevant. Nothing is more rewarding to her than hearing how members have used what they've learned to navigate an increasingly digital world with confidence. Her passion for empowering others and belief that it's never too late to learn made her the perfect person to talk with about independence, confidence, and embracing the opportunities and challenges that come with aging.
During the interview, I expected to hear about strategies for staying independent—a practical conversation about overcoming obstacles and remaining in control. After all, Bernice spent her career in computer science and managed computers on a 24/7 neutron beam-line at Los Alamos National Laboratory. I imagined we'd talk about problem-solving.
Instead, we talked about acceptance. We talked about gratitude. And, perhaps most surprisingly, we talked about the rewards of giving back.
Years ago, Bernice was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. During treatment, she became close with a group of women who were all facing the same diagnosis. Together, they made a remarkable decision.
"If we're gonna go, we're gonna have fun leaving." So they did.
They played bridge, hosted dinner parties, laughed. They developed a sense of purpose in living out their time with intention and joy. This attitude stuck with Bernice.
Today, Bernice is the only one still alive.
When I asked her what allowed her to live with such grace in the face of uncertainty, her answer surprised me. "Partly it’s because I surrendered to the fact that I could die," she said. "Everything that gave me a little more life was a real positive.” She remembers thinking, "Far out! I can still do this."
That perspective changed something in me. When we talk about autonomy, it's easy to think of it as maintaining control—staying independent, solving problems, preserving the abilities we've always had. But Bernice showed me another way to think about it.
Sometimes, autonomy isn't found in controlling what happens to us. Sometimes, it's found in choosing how we respond. That philosophy shows up everywhere in Bernice's life.
When the senior center first asked her to facilitate the book club, she felt completely out of her comfort zone. She’d never been to a book club. "This is a good thing and something I can help out with," she told herself. "I'll try this." And the supportive community around her helped that uncertainty grow into a bit of confidence. She later became a substitute Pilates instructor, where members have often commented that her enthusiasm is contagious. One participant recently told her, "I just love how you smile through class all the time. It makes us feel like we're doing it right."
For Bernice, that confidence doesn't come from knowing everything, it comes from being willing to try. "Fear is our greatest barrier," she told me. She believes we place too much value on having all the answers. Instead, she values curiosity, compassion, and encouraging others. Asking questions isn't weakness—it's how we continue growing.
Even now, as she notices changes that come with aging, she meets them with the same mindset. Her memory isn't what it used to be. But rather than dwelling on what's changed, she looks for acceptance.
"I'm grateful I can remember the things I still can."
When I asked what advice she'd give someone worried about losing their independence, she didn't talk about preventing change, she talked about living in the present.
"Worry robs you of energy. It robs you of the present. And worry doesn't make the pain go away. So many things we worry about never even come to pass. It's good to plan, to do what you can do, but living in the past or the future doesn't solve anything."
By the end of our conversation, we had wandered into philosophy, poetry, and our shared appreciation for mindfulness. But what stayed with me wasn't a particular idea or book recommendation.
It was Bernice herself.
Her willingness to be completely present. To meet each new season of life with curiosity instead of fear. To accept what she cannot control while continuing to embrace what she can.
This month we've been talking about autonomy and environmental mastery as the ability to navigate life's changes with confidence. Bernice reminded me that mastery isn't about conquering every challenge. It's about meeting each one with gratitude, a little courage, and the simple willingness to give it a try.
Perhaps that's the deepest kind of independence there is.
- By Leah Blackwell
As a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, LARSO is driven by impact rather than profit. Our goal is to improve outcomes and generate positive, lasting change for older adults throughout Los Alamos County.