A Tale of Kindness
Supporting Grief by Amber Edkin, Rivera Family Funerals
After carefully crafting a design for their own son’s monument at Guaje Pines Cemetery, this couple waited patiently while the granite tribute was born into a permanent piece of remembrance.
During many visits to the cemetery this mother found herself drawn to a little boy’s gravesite nearby which was marked with a temporary metal marker. She noticed, “someone visits here a lot- there are always flowers, and the area is well loved.” Also, recognizing this loss took place many years ago, she deduced that maybe this family didn’t have the financial luxury of investing in a permanent headstone.
The couple visited me at the funeral home and asked, “Is there any way you could contact them to see if they would enjoy a stone marker like we have? We would love to purchase it anonymously and it will bring us a lot of joy.” They wanted no control over the design and insisted they not be named. Enter another piece of community effort. LA County Parks and Recreation found the purchasing name on the plot, but there was no other leading information. Instead of brushing me off, they took the time to look through local utilities and see if the purchasing name matched anyone living in Los Alamos, and while protecting names and address, offered an e-mail on file.
I was not optimistic that I could reach someone so many years later but sent the offer via e-mail with fingers crossed. Almost instantly mom #2 came into my office wishing very much to see this little dream come true. She shared with me that it still hurts after all these years to remember the loss of her baby. Her young son who was with her shared that, “he thinks he understands what happened to his mom, and it makes him feel sad, too.” Not uncommon for me, I choked up a bit, too.
In the end, this project is underway and will bring multiple people some inner warmth this winter. The acknowledgment that other people are feeling the pain of being without their child, no matter what age or how many years, and can share the load (if even anonymously) is a precious thing.
Please remember to reach out to those people you know and love who might need a phone call, hug, or a simple distraction. We live in a wonderfully supportive community- there are many for people who are experiencing grief. Please reach out to a local funeral home for any information that might help you or a loved one find some peaceful moments. We provide more than just funeral and cremation resources and we want to help.