Director’s Corner - July 2024
Kindness Matters
By Jacci Gruninger, LARSO Executive Director
Last month I attended the memorial service for our board member, Don Gerheart. His son shared that at one point in his life, Don asked for advice, and his mentor said, “Live like you want to be remembered.”
I didn’t know Don very well, but our interactions made me think he lived by that motto. I hope that I too live by that motto. One of my favorite quotes from Ian Maclaren is “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." This was posted in the stairwell at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health where I did my first yoga teacher training. This thought has stayed with me since 2001.
Being kind not only makes others feel good, but it can make you feel good too. These days, we are constantly exposed to negative messages and tragedy in the world. It’s easy to get wrapped up and be brought down by these messages.
When we are kind to ourselves and one another, we create a climate of trust, acceptance, and comfort for ourselves and others. Did you know that, although we have evolved tremendously as humans, the reptilian part of our brain has not? We have an innate “negativity bias”. This is a defense mechanism that makes us pay more attention to the bad than the good.
Pema Chodron says to pay attention to all the good things that happen during the day, even those that seem small. I’ve tried this and realize the number of good things or “extra-ordinary things” far outweigh the not-so-good. I like to focus on those. Foundation
Although we no longer need to be concerned with being chased by a saber-toothed tiger, our brain is still wired the same way. For example, getting a single mean comment, being yelled at, or being on the receiving end of someone who is angry can make twenty positive moments fade away.
Unfortunately, in the last few months, many of our amazing staff and volunteers have been on the receiving end of anger, raised voices, and inappropriate behavior by some of our members. I recognize that we all have bad days. However, at the Senior Activity Centers, we try to live and work by our code of conduct. Being kind and polite is part of our code.
And the good news is, being kind can help all of us have something good to focus on. As humans, we value community. Kindness helps build community and increases our happiness levels. Being kind also helps to strengthen bonds, creating deeper relationships.
When we are kind, our bodies release oxytocin. What follows is a chemical reaction that reduces inflammation in our cardiovascular system. This reduces blood pressure and our chance of heart disease. Oxytocin also helps with mental and physical health by moderating fear and anxiety.
The bottom line: being kind is good for your physical, mental, and social well-being.
Please remember all these benefits when you next feel anger or frustration and to be kind to everyone with your words and actions. We are all open to conversation and communication dosed with kindness.
As Maya Angelou says, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."